Guess how old my son is

[u/yeathink267]

[u/KingGeoCat]

Are you sure it's your son?

https://preview.redd.it/st6z96mm832b1.jpeg?width=1119&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=5beff92a611acd9a4f62d7593f970faf161e49e8

[u/nc130295 → u/KingGeoCat]

Weird that it was posted 4 years ago. Too bad we can’t get a candle for that

[u/theotherthinker → u/nc130295]

In their defence, the 8 year old candles are totally available now.

[u/ZuriPL → u/theotherthinker]

they were available 4 years ago, now the store might have run out of the 8 year old candles

[u/Psychronia → u/ZuriPL]

In retrospect, it only makes sense for whoever bought out the last of the 4 candles to buy out the 8 ones 4 years later.

[u/kilr13 → u/KingGeoCat]

One out of 1500 people able to spot a bot.

[u/KingGeoCat → u/kilr13]

Yeah, shame they got nearly 10k upvotes.

[u/kilr13 → u/KingGeoCat]

Shame that this piece of shit subreddit doesn't allow direct links to itself. I understand why you posted a screenshot.

If I were you I'd try to hijack the top comment, but it doesn't matter. Reddit will IPO for 100Bn with 75% of the posts and comments on the site just being karma bots.

[u/yazzy1233 → u/kilr13]

It doesn't? Does it get auto removed if you try to link it?

[u/kilr13 → u/yazzy1233]

It's silent removed. You literally have to log out to be able to not see the comment you just made.

[u/GREENKING45 → u/kilr13]

Recently I also experienced silent removal. It was eerie when I could clearly see like 50 comments around mine gone and still be able to see my own comments.

As I have been a mod in the past, I don't recall having this ability. Is this something admins can do?

[u/kilr13 → u/GREENKING45]

Nope. The reddit admins are way too few, far between, and hands off to be taking the time to do that.

I believe it's just a regex filter for subreddits. Probably intended to be used to create profanity filters. I don't know what the logic is for silent removals vs having automod reply to the user. Probably to cut down on clutter.

[u/PM-me-in-100-years → u/kilr13]

It stops people (or bot farmers) from starting a new account as quickly as they would if they knew they had been banned. It also makes it harder for bots to know exactly what caused them to be banned, making it harder to circumvent mod tools. But it is a bit dystopian to experience as a human.

I'm sure there's a number of suicides that have been caused by the prank where you set someone's Facebook default for your posts to only be visible by yourself.

[u/CDogg123567 → u/kilr13]

Just search yourself on Reveddit. Not you specifically, the person I’m replying to, but you the reader

Edit: I had to make this comment twice, the first time I added a link to Reveddit and it auto removed it

[u/aeee98 → u/kilr13]

This fact is indeed mildly infuriating after all.

[u/thcheat → u/KingGeoCat]

22k now

[u/SomeGuyWithPlotArmor → u/thcheat]

30K now

[u/glorious_cheese → u/SomeGuyWithPlotArmor]

Fuck I hate the internet these days

[u/cheese_resurrection → u/glorious_cheese]

Nice username 🧀

[u/FinalTable8213 → u/SomeGuyWithPlotArmor]

33.8K now

[u/Rengar_Is_Good_kitty → u/SomeGuyWithPlotArmor]

What are the mods even doing that a bot can reach this many upvotes...

[u/jayseph95 → u/KingGeoCat]

They got 45k they literally beat the original. Wild. And they say Reddit isn’t a hive mind.

[u/andrewm_99 → u/kilr13]

How does one go about spotting one? I’d have no idea what posts to check and if they’re reposts.

[u/blueoncemoon → u/andrewm_99]

Check the user's history.

Usually it will be a fairly new account, or an old-ish account but only recently active. There will usually be a few comments first (not replies, and usually on reposts from other bots, because they stole a comment from the original post). Then they will have a few posts that they generally don't reply to comments on — or, if they do comment, it's stolen from the original post.

There are also quite a few subs that are notorious for bot farming — which I would name if this sub weren't such a PITA and auto-removes any mention of other subs. (Hence the reupload.)

Honestly, just keep looking at a user's post history when they get accused of being a bot. The patterns will become apparent quite quickly. (It also helps to be on Reddit way too much — I personally saw this post go by before and remembered it had the exact same title; same with OP's AirPods post.)

[u/andrewm_99 → u/blueoncemoon]

Solid. Appreciate the thorough explanation.

[u/kilr13 → u/andrewm_99]

Automatically generated username. Reddit will give you a username if you want. Why try to do that as a botter if reddit will just do it for you.

Account less than a year old, but not brand new. Done to try and beat out subreddits that have a minimum account age requirement.

Account will seemingly "spring" to life one day, and begin from that point forward, posting and commenting in random unrelated subs.

Google any comment or post title and you'll probably very quickly find the original reddit post or comment from which the bot stole the content.

Once you've caught a few, it takes less than 30 seconds between suspicion and confirmation.

[u/Fatcheeseburger → u/KingGeoCat]

Thank you for not being lazy like myself. Fuck OP

[u/Nymeria2018 → u/KingGeoCat]

How do subs this big not have an immediate report to mods option that it’s a bot? (At least on the app it doesn’t appear)

[u/blueoncemoon → u/Nymeria2018]

kebab menu --> spam --> harmful bots

[u/Nymeria2018 → u/blueoncemoon]

I did that but it didn’t seem to meet the “harmful” part but if that’s what the sun has decided to go with, ok!

[u/kolitics → u/KingGeoCat]

Must be 8 now.

[u/fabioismydad → u/KingGeoCat]

why do i always fall for these karma farming bots 😭😭 the amount of times i’ve upvoted, read the comments, and then took away my downvote… 🥲

[u/boredtxan → u/KingGeoCat]

Nicely done!

[u/og-90sGamer]

Buy 4 single candles

[u/hotsaucesundae → u/og-90sGamer]

You must work for big candle.

[u/-Hulk-Hoagie- → u/hotsaucesundae]

Nope, small candle.

[u/ATTORNEY_FOR_CATS → u/-Hulk-Hoagie-]

Serenity by Jan

[u/JumpyMaize7233 → u/ATTORNEY_FOR_CATS]

Good luck paying for birthday presents on your zero dollars salary plus benefits babe!

[u/BumbleCoder → u/-Hulk-Hoagie-]

Big small candle

[u/MagixTouch → u/BumbleCoder]

Careful, big small candle might wax you for spilling company secrets.

[u/livehearwish → u/MagixTouch]

Wouldn’t want to get burned on that!

[u/mmmkay938 → u/livehearwish]

Watch out. They might send John Wick.

[u/og-90sGamer → u/hotsaucesundae]

Hah I wish.

[u/are_you_still_alone- → u/hotsaucesundae]

The packs of single candles are cheaper than the number candles.

[u/ThrowMeAway_DaddyPls → u/og-90sGamer]

Their son is 44, it'll be a busy cake

[u/Minutenreis → u/ThrowMeAway_DaddyPls]

just do it in binary then:
44 = 101100 => 6 candles, of which 3 are ignited

[u/GlassWalker7382 → u/Minutenreis]

There are 10 types of people in this world; those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

[u/OwnedByGreyhounds → u/GlassWalker7382]

And those who were hoping for a joke about trinary.

[u/og-90sGamer → u/ThrowMeAway_DaddyPls]

Doubt it, but it would be funny if that was the case.

[u/Bobson_____Dugnutt → u/og-90sGamer]

right? this isn’t an inconvenience at all you can see the singles underneath

[u/Gertrude_D → u/Bobson_____Dugnutt]

Stars! Who doesn’t want stars!

[u/quint21 → u/Bobson_____Dugnutt]

They're cheaper, and it'll be more fun for the kid to blow out 4 individual candles. Win-win.

[u/TBRaiders → u/quint21]

As a kid, counting your candles before blowing them out was a thing for my family. Just having one candle with a number on it is lame. Maybe when you get to like 15 and older and having a 1 and a 5 would be cooler.

[u/og-90sGamer → u/quint21]

Exactly, one of my daughters birthdays is tomorrow actually and this is exactly what I would do in this situation. Like you said its cheaper and more to blow out aswell. Some people I tell ya.

[u/fogleaf → u/Bobson_____Dugnutt]

Yeah it’s a pretty mild infuriation. Should be a sub for mild infuriations

[u/CoGLucifer → u/fogleaf]

Its not even mildly infuriating. Its barely mildly inconvenient

[u/Gsampson97 → u/og-90sGamer]

Handles for forks?

[u/ThatDoucheInTheQuad]

Just cut the 8 in half

[u/Learned_Response → u/ThatDoucheInTheQuad]

Alternatively cut off the top and bottom to get an x, use it every year

[u/hollowish_ → u/Learned_Response]

You can use that x to make a 2x2

[u/Funkit → u/Learned_Response]

My son is variable years old!

[u/DoubleDareFan → u/Learned_Response]

And put it between 2 2's. 2x2.

[u/witeowl → u/Learned_Response]

[u/Maximum_Fair → u/ThatDoucheInTheQuad]

Or melt an upside down 7 and a 1 together into a 4

[u/AwayWinter4276 → u/Maximum_Fair]

Bro read my mind lol

[u/armour3 → u/ThatDoucheInTheQuad]

Depends on how you cut it. It could be 3, 0 or ε.

[u/ReesesTheses → u/armour3]

You could make a 4ish shape

[u/Cube256 → u/ReesesTheses]

I think the 9 might work better for that

[u/Spirit_of_Hogwash → u/Cube256]

The 8 can make any digit if you cut it as it were a 7-segment display

[u/ItsTheManFromScene24 → u/Spirit_of_Hogwash]

How do you do that without cutting off the wick?

[u/Spirit_of_Hogwash → u/ItsTheManFromScene24]

What matters is that they have cake.

[u/Fake_RustyShacklefrd → u/Spirit_of_Hogwash]

Well then just go to the house numbers section.

[u/Ultimate-Meow → u/armour3]

I think he means 8/2 = 4

[u/cinnamonrain → u/armour3]

It could still be 8 if you cross section it

[u/-NotEnoughMinerals → u/ThatDoucheInTheQuad]

Honestly though, a 4 year old would get a kick out of this. "look bud, see why it's cut in half? Because that's an 8, and you're half those years old!! Isn't that silly?!?!"

[u/pm_me_ur_th0ng_gurl → u/-NotEnoughMinerals]

Are 4 year olds smart enough to divide things? (I really don't know)

[u/-NotEnoughMinerals → u/pm_me_ur_th0ng_gurl]

No, but it's the exposure to math in fun ways that benefits a child.

You could show 4 fingers on one hand and 4 fingers on the other.

Count 8. Now remove one hand. And have them count the one standing hand, and they'll see 4. Idk.

[u/USBBus → u/pm_me_ur_th0ng_gurl]

According to Google, you learn division in grade 3 and third graders are 8-9 years old.

[u/subieluvr22 → u/ThatDoucheInTheQuad]

Maybe I'm just super high, but I'm pretty sure this is the funniest fucking thing I've read today... It took me a second, lol.

[u/Database-Bright]

44

[u/yazzy1233 → u/Database-Bright]

The op is a bot account. This is the original from a few years ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/cvclq8/guess_how_old_my_son_is/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

[u/Death_Watcher_ → u/yazzy1233]

Upvote and mod remove. Thanks

[u/Flatheadflatland → u/Death_Watcher_]

Glad it’s only got 40k upvotes good work

[u/OttoVonJismarck → u/Flatheadflatland]

Almost 60k now. Wow. I need to take notes. To me, f.ake internet currency is TOTALLY WORTH stealing other people's jokes.

[u/TheRubyLynnPaxton → u/yazzy1233]

Fucking hell. At this point mods who don't use at least basic title search+image matching are just lazy.

Like sure, they have a false positive rate, but it goes way down when you factor in the same title and the same image.

[u/0utstandingcitizen → u/yazzy1233]

Why do people do this lol... so lame

[u/Phraenkinstone → u/Database-Bright]

Damn it. I was gonna a post that. Very nice.

[u/Ok-Ask8593 → u/Phraenkinstone]

same, this user beat us to it haha

[u/Phraenkinstone → u/Ok-Ask8593]

It is truly a wonderful answer. We can be glad we all came to it.

[u/trashtrampoline → u/Phraenkinstone]

I remember when my mom turned 44, my dad joked that he was going to trade her in for a pair of 22 year olds. Now I'm 44.

[u/MistrSynistr → u/trashtrampoline]

My step mom turned 60 a couple weeks ago and my dad brought a fire extinguisher to the table before he brought the cake. While wearing sunglasses to "block out the sun". Sits the cake on the table, "well we are in luck they didn't have a 60 pack of candles so I got a 6 and a 0". For context, my dad turns 60 in a few months, so he gives her a hard time about being older than him.

[u/dstrip2 → u/MistrSynistr]

oooooh I bet he does give her a HARD TIME

[u/Hottitts257 → u/dstrip2]

Not without the little blue friend.

[u/Outside_County_5239 → u/Hottitts257]

They now come convenient in chewable form

[u/Tricky_Trixy → u/Outside_County_5239]

Wait, do they really?

[u/Extra_Intro_Version → u/Hottitts257]

Not everyone over 60 needs those.

[u/hardeho → u/trashtrampoline]

Tell him to hold out, 2 44-year olds for an 88 is a much better deal.

[u/Ok_Return_6033 → u/hardeho]

No way, Four 22 year olds. That way you can have a better rotation schedule.

[u/bodhiseppuku → u/Ok_Return_6033]

okay Hef.

[u/ShurlurkHolmes → u/Phraenkinstone]

You all came at the same time!?

[u/Comfortable_Trick137 → u/Ok-Ask8593]

I identify as a non-integer age

[u/SwampNerd → u/Phraenkinstone]

Is that you, Mario?

[u/Blayses → u/Phraenkinstone]

444

[u/Technical_You_721 → u/Blayses]

Sir this is a Wendys

[u/harsheyboy → u/Technical_You_721]

Juicy redhead

[u/Desperate-Craft-2144 → u/Phraenkinstone]

Damn it. I was gonna a pos…FUCK! Even this comment is taken

[u/MaBuConJe → u/Database-Bright]

OP could be Methuselah. I'll go 444 years old.

[u/Metamorphis → u/MaBuConJe]

My guess was "10" but your guess is as good as mine

[u/OppositeDevice9398 → u/Metamorphis]

Also thought 10

[u/odinsen251a → u/Database-Bright]

That or 40

[u/senthiljams → u/odinsen251a]

Error 404, resource not found.

[u/CleaveIshallnot → u/Database-Bright]

Biblically good answer! So much so u can give it the old testament treatment and make the sons age 444

[u/PreOpTransCentaur]

Today it looks like he's 3+1!

[u/idoneredditalreadyy → u/PreOpTransCentaur]

Or 5-1.. but 3+1 is more positive

[u/lost400betting → u/idoneredditalreadyy]

You could do a 1+1+1+1 but idk if that’d be too much..

[u/Kris-p- → u/lost400betting]

yeah he could just buy a pack of the normal candles below, it's an option for sure

[u/DrPudding12 → u/Kris-p-]

44 is lot of candles to put on a cake

[u/Kris-p- → u/DrPudding12]

it shows dedication

[u/What-a-Filthy-liar → u/Kris-p-]

Tell that to my mother.

Said it was insulting to have 65 candles on a funeral cake.

[u/ReadySteady_GO → u/What-a-Filthy-liar]

Funeral cake?

[u/SecretAgentVampire → u/DrPudding12]

On my last birthday I had 37 candles. Next, I'll have 38. Each additional candle demonstrates the increased or maintained capacity of my lungs to protect us from the flames.

This is what I assumed the candles represented when I was a child, and so it is what they mean now that I'm an adult. I relish the chance to quell the inferno of my 100th year. 🔥

[u/mathplusU → u/SecretAgentVampire]

May your lung capacity remain robust and your blowing strength be undiminished. May your candle's flames always be extinguished by the power of your exhilation. The light of the world relies on the yearly dousing of the lights of your cake. Godspeed.

[u/saturnthesixth → u/idoneredditalreadyy]

But you can reuse the 5 next year.

[u/Meshironkeydongle → u/PreOpTransCentaur]

Or 8/2...

Also 1+1+1+1 and 2+2 would take that cake :)

[u/InVtween → u/PreOpTransCentaur]

Indeed 3+1! is 4

[u/Dragon20C → u/InVtween]

Spot chat gpt in the comments.

[u/anaccountofrain → u/PreOpTransCentaur]

2^2

sqrt(16)

12/3

[u/remember_berries]

40.

[u/Sweet_Potatooie → u/remember_berries]

this is amazing XD

[u/tibbittsdds → u/Sweet_Potatooie]

Wow! Guessing age ha? Hmm..that was nice..I think he's 30's above..?

[u/IHeartBitxhes → u/remember_berries]

04

[u/FishDawgX → u/IHeartBitxhes]

004, secret agent

[u/sa3clark → u/IHeartBitxhes]

404: Number not found.

[u/yticomodnar]

Just buy one of each and when he asks where the 4 is, say "well YOU'RE 4, silly! Now blow out the candles!"

[u/AssHaberdasher → u/yticomodnar]

Found the candle manufacturer.

[u/mattbakerrr → u/AssHaberdasher]

Lit.🕯️

[u/repslifebestlife → u/yticomodnar]

Such an adorable solution, and I bet he’ll be delighted

[u/Rainime → u/yticomodnar]

That's so cute but quite expensive unfortunately. I love it though

[u/LaidByAnEgg → u/Rainime]

being 12,356,789 years old is hard 😢

[u/TsunamiLadyWorms → u/Rainime]

Yup. $20 for birthday candles lol

[u/yticomodnar → u/TsunamiLadyWorms]

In fairness, $2.49 is expensive for a one-time use candle that will be lit for the duration of a four sentence song. Besides, there's no rule that says you have to buy a new candle for every birthday, nor is there one that says you can't reuse those candles (assuming you're able to wash them off and keep them from breaking).

So, for a mere $25 (once you find the 0 and 4), you'd have every age covered for everyone in your family. And with the way inflation and price gouging is going, buying them all now might actually be cheaper in the long run.

Just saying. Lmao

[u/doopricorn → u/yticomodnar]

I bet you do your own taxes

[u/Lone-flamingo → u/doopricorn]

At least buy them dinner first before saying something like that.

[u/desirientt → u/doopricorn]

in this economy? who doesn’t

[u/-Kibbles-N-Tits- → u/desirientt]

It’s pretty straightforward now with the Inter webs and all

[u/FBIPartyBusNo3 → u/yticomodnar]

this is what my parents actually did

considering those candles are only ever lit for about a minute at a time, they last a surprising amount of time

[u/studentnurse104 → u/yticomodnar]

This!

[u/AnimasMaker → u/yticomodnar]

Then light him

[u/Choociecoomaroo]

You didn’t know you have to start shopping for candles at least a month in advance? Amateur.

[u/Outrageous_Dust561 → u/Choociecoomaroo]

I’d say buy years in advance just in case 🤣

[u/Papanasi_Hunter → u/Outrageous_Dust561]

After 11 there's even some reusing!

[u/wubalubadubscrub → u/Papanasi_Hunter]

My parents had 4 kids and they got use out of some candles 😂

[u/cortesoft → u/wubalubadubscrub]

The last kid just gets a burned nub for his candle

[u/millerimagination → u/Outrageous_Dust561]

Grab that “5” candle now!

[u/LDI221]

12,356,789 years old.

[u/iPhone40 → u/LDI221]

Happy birthday!

[u/Jennrrrs → u/LDI221]

Yeah, I think that's been how many years since this was first posted.

[u/DucksToo22]

Today, 3. Soon, 4.

[u/bombbodyguard → u/DucksToo22]

The only one I’ve seen get the answer right!

[u/stealthdawg → u/bombbodyguard]

Unless they’re 39

[u/JUSTICE3113 → u/DucksToo22]

THIS is the correct answer!

[u/PrivateJokerX929]

with a number as small as 4, just buy regular birthday candles, and put 4 of them on the cake

ez

[u/forcefuze]

Old enough to count the number of candles and doesn't need it spelled out for him or too young to remember his cake was "wrong". Win - Win - Win

[u/GamingTrucker12621 → u/forcefuze]

Or better yet if he is 4 as the post implies put about a dozen regular candles around the cake and that kid wont have a care in the world.

[u/Stock_Lemon_ → u/GamingTrucker12621]

Whatever you do don’t put 55 candles on a small cake. We did this for my dads 55th birthday with one of those $8 Walmart cakes and it quickly turned into an inferno. So glad we were outside for that lol

[u/noobvorld → u/Stock_Lemon_]

Note to self: stop at 54

[u/VitaminPb → u/noobvorld]

Make sure you have your will done in time.

[u/Miaikon → u/Stock_Lemon_]

You too? When my mom turned 40, I tried to put 40 candles on her cake. It melted the whipped cream topping, and the first thing she heard was not "happy birthday", but "oh sh***" XD. Those tiny candles melted like nothing in that amount.

[u/PastaAnalBowl → u/Stock_Lemon_]

Also don't try lighting them with a propane torch because you'll just end up melting all the wax while they refuse to catch fire. That cake didn't taste too good after that one.

[u/NewPointOfView → u/Stock_Lemon_]

Yeah the kinda power each other up. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts

[u/Brandonmac10x → u/forcefuze]

Just think if they made a + candle you can do 3+1 showing how he aged a year while also teaching him basic math.

And the candle company would sell 3x as many candles. It’s the perfect strategy. Everybody wins.

[u/Araghothe1]

When I was a kid I hated when they would put number candles on the cake. The more candles the more fun! Get the normal ones. I'm assuming you'll only need 4 of them.

[u/burgeremoji → u/Araghothe1]

Yeah I loved having more candles as I got older.

Now, it would be a major fire risk. But it was fun when I was younger!!

[u/VitaminPb → u/burgeremoji]

You say major fire risk, I say even more fun!

[u/protonlaser → u/VitaminPb]

Bro I hope my 40th burns my fucking house down!

[u/forakora → u/protonlaser]

Your 40th is gonna be lit

[u/lipcreampunk → u/Araghothe1]

Guess I'm too old, as I don't remember any number candles on my childhood birthday cakes, only single ones. At least in my country which was then a part of the USSR and you could never buy shit. And perhaps that's why I still find number candles weird and ugly. Single candles FTW!

[u/bichonfire → u/Araghothe1]

Those star ones underneath the 2/3 candles look way more fun!

[u/Aggravating-Hair7931]

10?

[u/olluie → u/Aggravating-Hair7931]

Finally

[u/Apprehensive-Ad7510]

0

[u/noodle06]

99 reposts old

[u/Astarial7]

This calls for binary ! Time to find some 0s

[u/nwbrown → u/Astarial7]

You can just get two 1s and say it's base 3.

[u/BankComplete7255]

Eh, tell him he's 5. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[u/TheScottishPimp03 → u/BankComplete7255]

He believes it then tells all his friends that hes magically a year older and now has become wiser then then🤭

[u/Cottoncandyvolcano → u/BankComplete7255]

Or tell him he's been bad so he has to repeat 3

[u/LoganImYourFather]

404 age not found

[u/bn351]

I guess regular candles don't work anymore.

[u/I_eat_your_teeth]

It's crazy how many posts go along the lines of guess how old "child" is, and for some reason, only those candles are missing.

Not saying op is a liar, but I've seen a decent few of these same posts

[u/irishdrunkwanderlust → u/I_eat_your_teeth]

No you’ve seen this same post. From three years ago.

[u/TriviaNewtonJohn → u/I_eat_your_teeth]

I was just thinking “wait haven’t I seen this post before!?”

[u/Personal-Student2934]

It's more fun to blow out the number of candles rather than one candle of that number anyway.

[u/StonedImaculate420]

44

[u/jordancliver]

404

[u/atemu1234]

44?

[u/SRDaugherty]

1+1+1+1

[u/vexunumgods]

You're IQ

[u/DastardlyDirtyDog]

Zero

[u/themeatman90]

4 individual candles?