r/tifu • u/Overall-Proposal4569 • 22h ago
M TIFU by catching my girlfriend demands n00dz from her friend
So I'm (26m) in a longterm committed relationship with my girlfriend (25f). Earlier today, she handed me her phone to look up an address or some shit, and i see a fb message pop up from someone labeled "sexy waifu."
The message says something like "Yeah you like that don't you ;)" (I don't remember exactly what it said but you get the idea).
I know I shouldn't snoop but that message coming from someone with that name into messenger was raising a lot of questions, so I opened the chat, and all I see are a bunch of messages sent by my gf to this "sexy waifu" (no messages from said waifu). They all say something like:
"Send more n00dz" "Show me that pussy" "I'd tap that" "Such a naughty/dirty little girl" "What a thirsty hoe"
You get the idea. I'm not sure whether to be angry, upset, confused, etc. First of all, I always thought my gf was straight. And she is definitely not the type I'd expect to solicit nudes. And obviously I didn't think she'd ever cheat on me. Pretty much all these messages are like this. I can't go to this person's fb profile either bc they don't have one. I guess they're only using messenger without an actual fb account. There's also no actual messages from the waifu, just from my gf. I realized waifu must've set her messages to disappear when her newest message disappeared.
I read a little further and see "So glad I got to wake up next to that ;)" and "I wish, but [my name] wouldn't be into it." And my heart sinks but also gets a little turned on? Is she cheating on me with a girl? Is she trying to open up our relationship? What does she wish for that I wouldn't be into? (And maybe I would be into it?).
When she asks for her phone back, I confront her. I told her about the message that showed up and how it led to me seeing all these other messages. I start by telling her she better tell me the truth. It's she cheating on me? Is she actuality demanding nudes from someone (and is she harassing this waifu about it?)? Am I not enough for her? Is she into women? What did she wish that I wouldn't be into? If we discussed it, maybe i could be into it or set boundaries? A billion different questions run through my head and out my mouth.
What I don't expect is for her to take the phone and type the message "I need more n00dz!" And hit send.
A minute or so later, a message comes back. It's a picture. She's laughing as she shows me the picture.
It's a cat named Noodle. More specifically, the cat of her best friend whose messenger chat name she had changed to "sexy waifu" in high school. The friend had since deactivated fb, but kept messenger to keep in contact with people, while mostly only sending disappearing/ hidden messages. My gf on the other hand, did not set her messages to disappear, which is why only hers showed up.
The thing that she wished for that I wouldn't be into was getting a cat together. I wanted the earth to swallow me hole as she laughed at me and showed me more of the "noodz" and "pussy pics."
Admittedly the cat was super cute and looked very cuddly. And I would've been happy to wake up next to that too. We actually ended up discussing it, and it looks like we're going to get a cat!
TL;DR: misinterpreted my gf's demands for n00dz, and now I'm looking up local cat adoption agencies 🐱
r/newzealand • u/invertednz • 20h ago
Politics Request to Greens Party
Not sure if anyone from the Greens Party is here, but if someone is can you please either:
- Focus on the environment
- Or rename your party. Some examples might be the Progressive party or the Socialist party. Allow another party to come in to focus on the environment
r/AusFinance • u/Capital-Ride-6498 • 19h ago
Why does my younger school dropout brother get paid double as much as me?
Me :- finish year 12, 5 years of uni, 3 years older, 80k a year in IT.
Younger brother :- doesn't finish year 9, some trade building buildings in the city or something, 160k a year, paid off house and an investment property
r/interestingasfuck • u/Responsible-Pause-99 • 6h ago
Misleading title UK vs USA fire & rescue both 2nd floor structure apartments and both on a busy street.
r/2007scape • u/Pokeychris • 9h ago
New Skill All the skills suck
Nothing to add. Just leaving my opinion like everyone else.
r/freemagic • u/ChaseRareReceptacle • 12h ago
GENERAL Is There a Rule That States How Secret Lairs Must Be Uglier Versions Than the Originals?
r/ProgrammerHumor • u/a1rsupp0rt • 17h ago
Meme Back when gender was expressable via radio buttons
r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/Deswizard • 12h ago
Country Club Thread Something looks off-color in here...
r/Persona5 • u/b0wz3rM41n • 8h ago
IMAGE He couldn't resist Joker's charm! 🏳️🌈
r/GreatBritishMemes • u/Crew_Doyle_ • 16h ago
The New University Challenge....
r/Diablo • u/GG_Henry • 22h ago
Diablo IV This game feels very superficial.
Played the open beta probably 20 hours and thoroughly enjoyed my experience. They made a nice looking game with fun combat. Everything appears to be just right. Early on I was getting worried I would blow thousands of hours of my life on this game. But then I kept playing. And as I played more I realized everything looks fine on the surface. But when I really looked at the systems, really none of them are good. UI, open world, skill tree, itemization, level scaling, dungeon mechanics, crafting, combat, boss fights, balancing… it’s like all bad. Am I wrong here? What am I missing?
I don’t understand how these things are acceptable at this company… the dungeon mechanics are so cheesy it’s like they gave it no thought. The skill tree is frankly appalling. This itemization fails at every level. The UI might be the worst UI I’ve seen in a a AAA game in my lifetime.
I understand it is beta but man. Feels like they are either hiding all the goodies or they got a ton of work to do to make this game have staying power.
Edit: I do think the character selection screen is amazing. That might be the best part of the game. It looks amazing!
r/FitToFat • u/Thetrader2896 • 10h ago
To the asshole who posted "Lasagna Del Rey" here is 2023 you rude fuck
r/makeyourchoice • u/AcademicLength1086 • 9h ago
r/animememes • u/Iexistandyoutoo • 17h ago
Political There i Said it
r/TIHI • u/DuoDemoIi • 13h ago
Image/Video Post Thanks, I Hate Anime Harry Potter Done by A.I.
r/oddlysatisfying • u/Unusual-Feeling7527 • 6h ago
Thought me shredding on expert mode in Guitar Hero might be fitting. Even with my old janky-ass guitar! (Long-ish video)
r/quin69 • u/Sophisticatedonkey • 15h ago
OTHER Time to remind people how poe was....
Poe wasn't always an amazing game, it took a LONG time for it to get as good as it has been the past few years.
Visual reminder from closed beta up to current date:
"but POE had only 4 people working on it and blizzard has 500+"
This is such a stupid comment I see, so often it boggles the mind.
I encourage you to use your brain and stop comparing a game that's been worked on since 2007 (yes POE has been worked on since September 1st 2007) and had 1000s of patches, leagues, expansions, bug fixes, server fixes (yea remember all the leagues where the server just said fuck you and decided to fuck you over one random way or another?) and league mechanics added to a game that's not even out yet hasn't had even 1 season yet, and a lot of people are saying it's the shittiest dog dick game there is.
The low IQ of some of these retards is the funniest shit I have seen in a LONG TIME. I remember when WOW first got announced and most of the hardcore MMORPG players hated it and thought it was for casuals and low IQ people, and guess what it became one of the most popular games of ALL TIME.
Just like wow wasn't for the super hardcore MMORPG players, d4 won't be for the super hardcore arpg players. It will be more successful, and it will be more fun and feel better to play.
You can keep your "weighted gameplay experience" POE frogs. Time to pick up all that currency for the 200000th time. Time to literally ignore 99.999% of rares/uniques/whites/blues you find. Time to install the next version of your loot filter for next league, otherwise the game is literally unplayable.
r/thefighterandthekid • u/jaycee_1501 • 12h ago
YouTube Special, How Did That Go? Mencia would not get away with this level of theft……. Who’s di** is this guy sucking to get a pass?gallery
r/OnePiece • u/turnipjuicer • 8h ago
Analysis This is onepiece, not funpiece.
Seriously everyone, especially the mods. Can we stop posting/allowing blatant borderline porn and OF post to be on here? I come on here to see discussions about one piece or cool things. If I wanted to see funpiece I would join funpiece. Can we please stop allowing this on here and get back to actual one piece content and not whatever the hell has been going on everyday??
r/LivestreamFail • u/ogseaweed • 2h ago
H3 Podcast h3h3 calls out YouTube hypocrisy on 'fair use content' using xQc as an exampleyoutube.com
r/IAmTheMainCharacter • u/BurningHotTakes • 23h ago
Video This is the most French video I’ve ever seen
r/leagueoflegends • u/Nmer27 • 17h ago
Why doesn’t riot just ban the cat from pro play?
No pro enjoys playing her, watchers don’t like watching her, casters don’t like casting for her, riot surely doesn’t like trying to balance her.
Just ban her from pro the same way they do new champs, forever. Balance her exclusively for soloQ.
I don’t see how this isn’t the answer to the league of legends cat champion
r/dilbert • u/Facebookinmate • 13h ago
Thanks Reddit for allowing me to continue seeing my favorite cartoon. Mr. Adams, don't be cowed by the insane leftist, hardcore media, you simply spoke the truth and we ALL know it.
r/h3h3productions • u/Jabron1Tony • 12h ago
#Hoe4Hila ❤️ I'm a very shy girl, someone who loves H3 please date me now #Family
r/newzealand • u/zeezprah221 • 20h ago
Politics Why is Men Foon so silent on Marama Davidson's racist outburst
As the race relations commissioner, you would think that Meng Foon would speak out about Marama's despicable racist outburst, as he has done so in many other instances in the past .
Does anyone have any idea why he is so silent in this instance?