r/self Oct 27 '22

Self is now limiting submissions to two per account in a rolling 24 hour period.


Hello all,

There seems to be a higher than normal number of users taking advantage of our previous unlimited submission policy, and for the most part spamming the queue with multiple submissions every day. Some of these are utter nonsense and do not really add much to this community. As a result we are now limiting the total number of submissions per user to 2 submissions during a 24 hour period. This includes deleted posts, so you cannot circumvent the limit.

If you have any questions or concerns, please comment in this thread.

r/self 6h ago

Caught Mom cheating on my Dad. WDID?


Posting in two places since I have no idea what to do or where to go.

For the past year or so, I thought my mom has been acting weird. She goes on discord and plays videogames constantly. Sometimes she'd get what we joked was a "flirty voice" with some of the people online. Whenever my Dad would try to talk to her, he'd get brushed off no matter what topic it'd be.

So, when I noticed she'd gone out for a bit, I decided to hop on her computer and take a quick peek. And.. yep. Cheating. With one guy. Since July of last year. Nudes and everything. Had to bleach my eyes out, but not before taking some pictures to collect evidence in case it all spirals out of control.

I immediately wanted to tell my dad, but remembered that he's been depressed most his life, but recently (at least, I'm pretty sure it's not related to this,) he's even come up to me and talked about how it's gotten really bad. So.. not sure I should tell him, because this could tip him over the edge.

The reason I'm posting this is I have no idea what to do. Should I tell my dad? Should I confront her about it? I don't know. They've been married for over 20 years so this was a shock. What do I do guys?

Edit: Thanks so much for the responses, guys. After looking into a lot of different perspectives it seems like the best option is to tell my dad alone, so that he is able to deal with the situation, and I'll support him in any way I can. Thanks again. I'll update when the aftermath hits.

r/self 19h ago

Yall ever start to get to know someone and then you realize that you don't really wanna be their friend because of some sht they say?


But they seem rlly eager to be your friend and you don't wanna be rude so you kinda just play along hoping they'll forget you?

Edit: shit did I start a war again

r/self 3h ago

I fell in love with a lesbian and I feel stupid.


Throwaway account for reasons.

I (M, mid-late twenties) met someone (F, around my age) recently in a dancing class.

Things were pretty nice between us. When dancing, we connected greatly and shared a few pretty close/romantic dances together. During the last few weeks, we saw each other more frequently (always in groups, however), danced more frequently, sometimes pretty late. I kind of went closer to her every now and then and she didn't seem to mind, showing no signs of rejection to me. It was nothing serious yet, but enough to keep my hopes up.

The last few days were the happiest in a long while, finally being in love with someone kind, with the feeling of things being bidirectional.

Today, I talked to a common friend about it and she was like: OMG I'm so sorry, but she's gay as f*ck. Didn't you notice her necklace? As I recalled that necklace from memory, it WAS a definitive hint that she isn't interested in guys. I guess I just saw what I wanted to see, and now I feel sad and stupid. I have mistaken the absence of rejection for affection. And I seemingly just ignored a broad hint for her orientation. I guess she assumed I knew and thought that things were platonic from my side.

Well, they weren't.

She doesn't know yet, so I hope she's not on this sub.

Life sucks man.

r/self 9h ago

I feel like such a loser.


Mid-30s in an okay job with no room for growth. I think I’m being ghosted after being in a serious relationship for 1yr+. I feel so lost, lonely, and failed at life.

r/self 1h ago

Too sick to pay for healthcare, too long to wait on the NHS


I have GERD. I'm 17 and have had to drop out of college due to the crippling pain I am in daily. I also have a few other minor health issues, but GERD has been completely debilitating. I've lost pretty much everything and had to build some sort of existence together.

I'm trying very hard to keep my shit together writing this, there's a lot of moving parts i'll try my best to explain.

  • Wait time for a referral on the NHS is 6-8 months (this is just to process it, not even an appointment, this will put is into 2024, months after I really should get back to college), then surgery is a further 3 years which the NHS will inevitably bottle as they frequently do, meaning I need another £6,000.
  • Due to being sick basically all the time, I can't work and any jobs that are available won't take me because I require accommodation for my condition (lots of sick days). I've tried.
  • My family is on benefits and the cost for the private tests totals £3,000 from what I've heard. this is £3,000 we don't have. and since I can't work. I will never be able to afford it.

What the hell do I do? It's education and pain or work, pain and faster healthcare. the latter fucks over the rest of my life even if we find a cure/treatment because once I'm 19, college is no longer funded.

I'm constantly getting called a bitch when I'm trying my best, it's destroying.

I'm debating calling it quits on life because there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, I'm doing online courses and trying to stay fit in the meantime. nothing stops the pain.

r/self 14h ago

My manager who stays chillin in the office, thought I was sick because I brought a chair next to my machine since we dont get to sit down for more than 20 minutes in an 8 hour period (including breaks).


r/self 8h ago

Crikey, why are flights to locations in Nevada, California and Utah suddenly so expensive??


Crikey, just looked at some flights to locations in Nevada, Utah and California and they're so expensive right now.

What's going on there?! Is jet fuel more expensive all of a sudden?! I thought planes no longer ran on jet fuel?!

Yikes! Guess I'll have to shelve my desert getaway plans for now...

r/self 1h ago

My boss vapes everywhere at work and I am so sick of it


Literally sounds like Darth Vader puffing away in his office. Walks around like a steam train everywhere, will vape in every location in the store and out the back. When he talks to customers, when he talks to staff. Can't stand it. Its like an extension of his arm at this point.

r/self 3h ago

I learned self love.


Sometimes, its listening to people less.

I have had many people plant seeds of doubt in my head. I have had to dig myself out of homelessness. I have had to do so much. I've forgotten who I was because I was overly receptive to feedback.

I realize now that people don't truly know me or what I want to do for myself. I know what I need. I know what is best for me, and I am tired of other people thinking they know what is best for me.

I do not want to be a heterosexual woman. I do not want to bring children into a collapsing world. I do not want to have sex with men. I do not want to speak to my dying family who disowned me for being lesbian. I won't listen to anyone who says I am a sociopath for letting them rot, my family wished death on me. I'm tired of the world and the people around me trying to tell me who I should be. I don't want to be an obedient punching bag, and its insanity for anyone to think I should be.

I see serious problems with this world and how it is run. I cannot change them, but I believe I deserve to live happily.

I need to marry a woman and share memories with someone who loves me. I need to actually live life, its my life. I get one shot on this earth and I'm not going to waste it listening to doubt. I'm not obligated to care for anyone else but myself and my future wife, and maybe some pets, and general respect and kindness to strangers.

I see no issue with the life I know I need.

That is self love.

r/self 1d ago

I wish that people would stop calling me smart.


When my father, teacher, etc tell me that I'm smart and that I should get all A's and understand stuff easily, I end up expecting that from myself as well. And when I come across something I struggle with, it crushes me because I think I should be understanding it perfectly. And then I feel like such a massive and a major disappointment to my family and friends.

Why can't people just stop saying I'm smart?

r/self 5h ago

I [19M] just found out I'm short and I don't know how to feel about it


I NEVER cared about my height and was always very secure about it, most of my friends in highschool were shorter than me so I always thought I was above the average height. Last time I measured myself was probably 5 years ago, I guess I just forgot my actual height and my brain told me what I wanted to hear (5'8").

Today I decided to check as I was sure I was a bit shorter than that. Well guess what, I'm actually 5'6".

I don't know what to do and I think this is going to become one more thing for me to be insecure and self-conscious about, along with my hair loss, gigantic head (think Megamind), and being skinny.

r/self 2h ago

Left my valuables on the bus


It finally happened looking they were expensive just off bits of shopping. I'm so sad and mad at myself. I zoned out so much till the point I forgot my own shitby the time I was home I just remembered when I looked at tape. Being on 6 hrs sleep really fucked me up .

r/self 9h ago

How many homeless friends is too many


I am not too far from being homeless myself, and I like to consider myself a charitable person. But in the last month we took in a woman friend, 50 something, along with her bf, who is partially incapacitated from a stroke, her father, suffering from a hint of dementia, and her five dogs ( they were here one day), a friend who had just been released from the hospital, ( he is now in a motel room care of the county, a young man living in his vehicle holding down two security guard jobs (sleeps in our driveway), an ex employee, who recently had $35000 but has nothing now, and a girl who had a motor home but it got impounded. I'm tired of it and as a renter feel as if they are putting us at risk. They arent all here now just the last one. She's in our driveway in a suv. Anyone else dealing with this? . Am I a selfish bastard?

r/self 6m ago

Requesting personal experiences with Narcissist’s


Pretty sure I have been dating a narcissist the last 3 years. I have known him for over 30 years and I considered him a really good friend and the love of my life. I am not going to go into great detail of why I think that he is but I am asking you guys to give me examples of what you have come in contact or have dealt with. They say “love is blind”. I have definitely been put to the test!

r/self 12m ago

I (19F) need an actual job, any suggestions?


I can't decide what kind of job I want to strive for, i would like a job where I can kinda run things on my own and kinda be able to do my own thing but idk, y'all got any suggestions? Idk greatly appreciate some info on certain jobs that I could look more into

r/self 15m ago

The Trans community needs you to stand with us now more than ever!


In the wake of the Nashville shooting, many of us Trans folk are bracing for an increase in violence directed at us. We are already enduring a magnitude of attacks none of us have ever experienced. It's about to get much worse. We need you to stand with us, now more than ever. Please show us that we are not alone.

r/self 8h ago

I'm sometimes scared she will find me


Not a lot anymore, it's so much better than like half a year ago. I was overthinking everyday that she might find me. I'm not really worried about it anymore, only sometimes. But her finding me is still my worst nightmare.

And no, she didn't do anything too bad to me like abuse. The things she did were light. I'm just overdramatizing it.

r/self 48m ago

A letter I never wrote you.


Your child like glow and loving hugs made me fall for you. The way you held me, the way you loved me, the way you cared. It was all so much of what I wanted. I wish you would have realized that this relationship was serious before it was too late. I wish we would have realized how much we could have loved one another fully before we became strangers again. Everything about you, with the exception of the darkness, was all I ever wanted. It was enough. It was everything I needed.

I love you and I will love you fully until the feeling fades.

I hope you chose to make all the right choices. I hope you chose to follow this path with me. Who knows, maybe one day we'll come together in grace and love each other right.

Who knows.

I love you friend,


r/self 49m ago

My coworker is purposely making me have a crush on him


I know he is doing just for the fun of it. I’ve done the same thing to guys before so I know what he’s doing. I’ve played this game before. But it’s fucking with my head and I don’t like it😂.

We’ve been working together for almost a year. I’m 19F and he’s 21M and we are both interns at a government department, along with another girl and another guy. He had a gf when we first met, but they broke up last year cuz she went away to study abroad, so now he is in his fucking hoe phase and I know he’s with a different girl every weekend lmao.

Anyways, it’s almost never just the two of us, but every time we’re alone he does a lil something to mess with my head. Like today he said “bye princess, see you tomorrow”. I’ve never seen him call anyone else that, and he’d never say it in front of other people, but it messes with me. Also almost every time we’re alone he comes to my desk and leans over me, gets close and initiates more conversations. Or just starts air dropping me pics of his pets lmao. This past weekend we bumped at a party, but I was with my friends and he was with his friends and we talked for a bit and I borrowed his vape and he gave me like fuck me eyes, and then I got pulled away. And I only saw him again at 4 am from far away leaving with another girl. Ugh

He is not even really my type but he’s so cocky and such a flirt that it got to me. And I don’t get a crushes easily at all and I don’t loose my cool like this. Oh well. I know it’s never gonna go anywhere and he doesn’t like me (I don’t like him either, it’s just the attraction and being together so often that messed me up).

r/self 4h ago

New job


Becoming a prostitute. Okay thats hyperbole however i have found myself in a situation the last 5 years or so. I have been a supervisor at 2 manufacturing facilities and quite frankly hated it. Constantly going against what i thought was right not only morally but in terms of reaching a goal be it production, qaulity, employee retention etc.... to bow down to the all powerful omniscent manager and be a yes man. Constantly being reprimanded for asking why and being seen as difficult to work with by upper management. Just because i question things that don't make sense to me. I was always very well like by my peers and subordinates, at my previous job i was even expected to become the next manager. Simply because i was easy to work with and my department was always the best performing. I was even moved around to fix departments quite often, and succesfully started a new production line that became the most efficient line in the plant that never had mandatory overtime.

I wanted to find something else so i switched to a new company for a slight pay raise and the promise to learn certain skills where i could earn enough money to support my family without being in supervision. However my title was still supervisor, and the promise at learning those new skills never came. They hired me in specifically to promote change, but eventually they got so sick of me trying to change things i was demoted and seen as difficult to work with. The problem is I now don't make enough to support my family the last six months was spent trying start a side hustle with little success mainly due to not having any time my wife being worn down from the kids and when i did find time to work on my side business for more than an hour it is met with so much negative emotion from my wife for being burdened with the kids trying to do anything apart from being a full time dad when not at work become unenjoyable to even try. I honestly enjoy my job as press brake operator and i am great at it, but i started looking for new work to cover the deficit in our budget as our tax refund was 1/6 of what i expected and found a job making more than i ever have in another supervisory role. I just signed and sent off the job offer and can't help but want to break down and cry. I dont know who to talk to everyone says this is a great financial opportunity, but its just shoving off any dreams of going back to school and becoming the engineer i wanted to be when i was in highschool, however i listened to my guidance counselor after highschool because he said i didnt have the math skills for engineering. I am currently enrolled atm but will need to drop my classes this semester because of the new schedule, and honestly doubt i will have the time to re-enroll because my new role will have me working almost every weekend and i want to cherish the time i do have with my 1 and 3 year old. I guess im just sick of it. Sick of having to be a bitch to survive with any modicum of financial comfort. I hate it I need to be excited at my new role if i want to suceed but i just can't shake this feeling of utter failure that my life will always be bowing down to the whims of others to give my wife and children a passable life not even fucking luxury just enough to survive with comofort. Ffs i cant even get a therapist to call me back. Thats the end of my rant i hope everyone else is doing better than me right now.

r/self 1h ago

Did these girls like me?


18 M here. I knew a group of girls in high school (three of them) who were friendly to me and always got excited when they saw me.

I was some weird guy in high school and didn't talk much, so idk why these girls wanted to see me. Two of them had boyfriends, the other one didn't.

Did they actually like me, or did they think I was a clown they could laugh at? What do you think?

r/self 5h ago



I hope I get a second date that I get to spend more time with this girl. But if I don’t I’ll be okay. I just wish I could know the answer already but it’s only been two days

r/self 10h ago

Oracle hosting TikTok data is a fair solution IMHO


US Govt is concerned CCP is using data from TikTok to gain intelligence on America or act as a method of spreading propaganda. I think that is a fair concern.

TikTok response is "Let Oracle host all data related to US based users and pass laws protecting that data"

Oracle has lots of business in America, is very exposed in this regard, has Govt contracts etc. I think this solution makes sense. Oracle maintains the data.

Also maybe its time the US pass a GDPR like law...but you know that's not going happen.

r/self 1h ago

I'm pass away in 24 hours, you can ask any questions.


Whatever the unpleasant questions I have, I will say right away: I had problems with addictions to drugs. That's because my mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor that was too late to remove. She passed away 2 months ago. She was a single mother and I am grateful to her for all she has done to me. I want to leave this life without a burden on my soul, so I want to share this with you. Please, don't try to dissuade me, I want to find peace, finally.

r/self 5h ago

Should I go for the new job?


I (23f) graduated from college last May and have been working in my current job since then. I’m in a rotational program, so I’m rotating through 4 different positions over the course of 2 years. I’m currently half way through my second rotation.

This weekend, I was told about a position that I could apply to now that I could make a significant amount more and I’d be doing work more relevant to the career path I want to be on. My parents think I should stick with the program I’m in and wait until it ends before I try to get a new job. They think the experience I’d gain is more valuable as many people don’t get the opportunity to gain the amount of experience in different areas of a company that I will have. I agree that it is a great program and I was very excited for it before I started and it’s been going well. However, I don’t see what the benefit of gaining experience in work that I don’t want to do is when I have an opportunity for a job that will allow me to build on the technical skills I need for my desired career path.

Neither job is my dream job and either way I’m going to have to put in a lot of hard work to get to where I want. There are other pros and cons, but the main one is the experience. Is it better to gain the variety of experience I’d get from the program and then I’d have the rest of my career to gain experience in the field I want to be in or should I just go for it and start working towards my desired career?

Basically, which experience is more beneficial towards building a career especially towards upper management?