r/technology Feb 28 '23 Burning Cash 1

Salesforce has been reportedly paying Matthew McConaughey $10 million a year to act as a 'creative adviser' despite laying off 8,000 employees last month Business

https://www.businessinsider.com/salesforce-reportedly-paying-mcconaughey-millions-despite-layoffs-2023-2
44.5k Upvotes

18.1k

u/SashimiRick Feb 28 '23 Silver hehehehe Bravo! Starry Giggle

"That's what I love about Salesforce, man. The workforce gets smaller, my paychecks stay the same."

5.3k

u/EarthIsInOuterSpace Mar 01 '23 Gold Platinum All-Seeing Upvote Bravo! Bravo Grande!

Dear Friends,

I am deeply sorry to hear about the recent layoffs at Salesforce. I know that losing a job can be a difficult and painful experience, and I want you to know that I understand the challenges and uncertainty that you are facing.

As someone who has experienced setbacks and challenges in my own life, I know how important it is to stay positive and focused during times of adversity. I encourage you to take this as an opportunity to reflect on your goals, strengths, and passions, and to use this experience as a catalyst for growth and personal development.

I understand that my $10,000,000 contract with Salesforce may seem like a stark contrast to your current situation. However, I want to assure you that I am committed to using my platform and influence to create positive change and support those who are facing hardship. I believe that we are all connected, and that we have a responsibility to help one another and lift each other up.

In the spirit of support and encouragement, I want to share with you something that has brought me joy and inspiration: the Lincoln car. I have been a longtime fan of the Lincoln brand, and I believe that their cars represent luxury, quality, and elegance. Perhaps you may find some comfort and inspiration in exploring their offerings as you navigate this difficult time.

Please know that I am sending you my positive thoughts and energy, and I believe in your resilience and strength. You will get through this, and you will emerge stronger and more resilient than ever before.

Sincerely,

Matthew McConaughey

709

u/jackofyourmomstrades Mar 01 '23

Sometimes you're just driving in a direction.

With 10 million dollars.

It doesn't matter where you're going.

That's just where you'll be.

👌

113

u/loptopandbingo Mar 01 '23

The zeros on the ends of my checks... (drags cigarette) are flat circles..

→ More replies
→ More replies

576

u/burito23 Mar 01 '23

Thanks. This makes my layoff very tolerable.

265

u/aqlu Mar 01 '23

Alright alright alriiiiight

34

u/ReticulatingSplines7 Mar 01 '23

This is what i said when my POS Lincoln broke down the other day.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

122

u/blabmight Mar 01 '23

Sincerely chatGPT

→ More replies

417

u/VendorBuyBankGuards Mar 01 '23

chatGPT age is here

273

u/caughtinthought Mar 01 '23

It's kind of funny still how easy they are to spot even with how well written they are

I suspect this has to do with how lazy people are hah nobody got time for that shit

151

u/UnconnectdeaD Mar 01 '23

Yeah, but the less lazy are learning how to use this as a rubber ducky. Minor changes to cadence; adding natural inclination; the rhythm of conversation; and understanding of what to look for...

Shit's about to get wild again. Yeehaw!!! AOL hackers unite! All 1000 of us!

54

u/Beachdaddybravo Mar 01 '23

Hack the planet!

25

u/Im-Ne-wHere Mar 01 '23

Hack the planeetttttttt!!!!!

→ More replies
→ More replies

8

u/Oaknot Mar 01 '23

Dear God flashbacks to writing all those cracking and phishing programs in visual basic as a teenager.... and... The hours upon hours of testing and repacking WaReZ to make sure they were actually cracked and worked before sending them out via mass email lists through randos email accounts.

7

u/UnconnectdeaD Mar 01 '23

VB was the language for the script kids for sure. I wear that title with honor as well. Yeah, I was fucking 13 and writing scripts! We were still working our shit out and not using prepackaged routines. Sure there were the kids that used AOHell and shit, but between VB and the days of Newgrounds and flash, it was fun.

People tend to forget that Neo would be considered a script kid.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

12

u/bighi Mar 01 '23

I don't think chatGPT would be smart enough to create hidden jokes like that, that creates that "you had me in the first half" thing.

6

u/Mister_E_Phister Mar 01 '23

This why you'll be one of the first to die when the robots overthrow us.

6

u/bighi Mar 01 '23

Nope. I have a kid, I can push her in front of me to die first.

I'll be the SECOND one to die.

→ More replies
→ More replies

30

u/TheNotSoGreatPumpkin Mar 01 '23

Let them drive Lincolns!

643

u/CommanderSaadi Mar 01 '23

Ngl had me in the first half. Well done!

329

u/hollywoodbob Mar 01 '23 Take My Energy

I kept expecting it to bring up some fucking wrestling match.

46

u/thpl90 Mar 01 '23

I checked the username about half way through the post. I admit.

38

u/peekdasneaks Mar 01 '23

If youre checking the username, you already know it's not a shittymorph. He only appears when no one is looking.

80

u/greeheheasy Mar 01 '23

I too was expecting hell in a cell

→ More replies

22

u/negativeyoda Mar 01 '23

I haven't had a /u/shittymorph sighting in a while

6

u/correcthorsestapler Mar 01 '23

He occasionally pops up, posts a comment, then deletes it a few days later. Looks like he’s been working on a book based on his comments/posts.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

19

u/strayakant Mar 01 '23

Alllright alright alright

28

u/Puzzleheaded-Let-880 Mar 01 '23

"as you navigate this difficult time" perhaps in a brand new Lincoln navigator

→ More replies

10

u/Saint_Buttcheeks Mar 01 '23

Thank you for this. I’ll forward this to my landlord.

16

u/BostAnon Mar 01 '23

Holy shit that was amazing

26

u/jericho Mar 01 '23

GPT3 for sure.

→ More replies

391

u/tpars Mar 01 '23

Salesforce is a cult. That is all.

320

u/kfpswf Mar 01 '23

If Salesforce is a cult, then SAP is already an organized religion.

199

u/goalie_fight Mar 01 '23

Oracle is still the devil.

131

u/Jose_Canseco_Jr Mar 01 '23

nah, the devil would at least be cool

oracle is the roman catholic church: bloated, old, too sure of itself, rich... thinks it's still a top dog but really it's mainly around because of tradition

26

u/pier4r Mar 01 '23

You are excommunicated from /r/oracle

11

u/antonivs Mar 01 '23

Meanwhile Larry Ellison is kicking back on his porch on the sixth-largest island in Hawaii, which he owns, chuckling to himself as he imagines all those big business stuck with Oracle.

→ More replies

82

u/Walter-Joseph-Kovacs Mar 01 '23

I'm in tech and my company uses both Salesforce and SAP. Can you explain what they are or what they do?

217

u/CAfromCA Mar 01 '23

Like SAP, Salesforce is easiest to think of as a huge database plus a user interface, a bunch of automatic magic for certain common business processes, and a bunch of tools to build your own magic for other stuff you want to get done.

Salesforce’s original focuses were sales (hence the name) and service, though it’s grown a hell of a ways beyond those. Its primary offering is a “Platform as a Service”, so lots of other companies have built plugins or entire applications that run on top of that. They’ve also started offering a lot more industry-specific solutions built on their underlying platform.

Salesforce and SAP overlap and compete in a lot of ways, but historically there’s been a divide where Salesforce has a “front of house” focus (prospects, customers, and the employees and partners who interact with them) while SAP is “back of house” (HR, manufacturing processes, etc.).

Given your company has both, I’d guess they’re being used as described above: Sales probably get tracked in Salesforce, orders are probably fulfilled from SAP.

BTW, I should point out that both companies are massive multinationals, with tens of billions in revenues and tens of thousands of employees, and both have grown via (sometimes enormous) acquisitions. Everything I said above is focused on their “core” offerings, but both have large portfolios including integration software, reporting software, field service management, etc., ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

64

u/SystemFixer Mar 01 '23

Coming from a consultant in the SF space, this is probably the best non technical, non buzzword riddled explanation of what Salesforce is I've ever read.

22

u/CAfromCA Mar 01 '23

Guess what I do for a living.

23

u/jazzwhiz Mar 01 '23

Write wikipedia pages?

→ More replies
→ More replies

10

u/CardboardHeatshield Mar 01 '23

I use both daily and the basic breakdown is Salesforce has everything we know about our customers and SAP has everything we know about ourselves.

→ More replies

16

u/TheSpanishArmada Mar 01 '23

I would add that SAP, as a true ERP, is where all the accounting and finance is done. My company uses both and all the numbers are handled in SAP.

That’s not to say that SF doesn’t have the capability, but the above aligns with your thoughts on front vs. back of house.

6

u/CAfromCA Mar 01 '23

Yeah, you'd need to add an ERP solution like FinancialForce (or just integrate your existing ERP) to close that gap.

On the flip side, in my experience SAP's CRM sucks for users. There are definitely different strengths between the two.

→ More replies

131

u/recumbent_mike Mar 01 '23

I'll say this for SAP: they're probably not the worst thing to come out of Germany in the 20th century.

61

u/grumpyoldham Mar 01 '23

It's debatable

27

u/who_ate_the_cookie Mar 01 '23

But there are case studies on small/medium businesses being killed by SAP due to not being the right technology selection.

29

u/Skelito Mar 01 '23

That’s more on the company implementing an ERP to big and expensive for them. No small business in their right mind should be using SAP.

→ More replies

7

u/detachabletoast Mar 01 '23

I don't know about these case studies but right technology selection is a massive understatement. implementing any big name ERP/CRM takes years, eats money in the millions, and SAP is its own animal. Whatever the choice, how the business got to the point where they're ready to invest can say a lot about how they'll end up handling the inevitable evaluation/reconsideration of pretty much every part of how they operate.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

7

u/fardough Mar 01 '23

Think of Salesforce as trying to solve “How do you manage a large sales force?”

How can you forecast, track quota, see the hot deals, prioritize opportunities, etc.

It also comes with an extensible platform, so you can basically build business applications with it, often with the intent of customization or solving adjacent use cases.

Much more they now offer, but that was the core.

59

u/tolndakoti Mar 01 '23

I work for SAP. Think of it as database software, catering to enterprise/global companies. Oracle is the direct competitor. I know this is very general, but that’s because all the software sold by SAP, this is the common denominator.

A large portion of the products can be categorized as Human Capital Management (HR software). There’s also analytics. Thats all I really know. As you can tell, I’m not in sales/marketing.

89

u/MaddinCodes Mar 01 '23

It's ERP: Enterprise resource planning. The integrated management of main business processes by a software collecting, storing, managing and interpreting data from business activities, basically every process in a company.

SAP 4/HANA e.g. consists of

Asset Management

Commerce

Finance

Human Resources

Manufacturing

Marketing

R&D/Engineering

Sales

Service

Sourcing & Procurement

Supply Chain

Sustainability

WDF 21 sends its regards ;)

50

u/moistpotatoes Mar 01 '23

Reading this makes me feel like the Unibomber

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

207

u/Lingonberry11 Mar 01 '23

This is interesting. I have a friend... well had a friend who worked at Salesforce which kinda meant nothing to me because I'm not in the tech world. But she got real weird about certain things after that and we drifted apart because I felt like she deified her workplace and made it her identity. I didn't connect it to a Salesforcian thing at the time, I just thought she was a little nutty.

So what makes you say they're a cult?

15

u/Procrastanaseum Mar 01 '23

You have to stay up to date on all things Salesforce and Salesforce is evolving every day.

They have conferences and virtual meetings, and for the people who want to be "the best" at Salesforce, you need to dedicate your life to all things Salesforce which I doubt is anyone's true passion in life.

You're also only really useful to companies that use Salesforce so your skills won't transfer if your next organization doesn't give two-shits about Salesforce.

6

u/bigboygamer Mar 01 '23

I heard they cut out your tongue if you even whisper MS Dynamics

12

u/rjjm88 Mar 01 '23

A lot of ERP systems are like that. They try and sell you on being THE solution to ALL your business woes, and the sales teams drink deep of the same Kool Aid that they give customers.

→ More replies

185

u/Valvador Mar 01 '23

I didn't connect it to a Salesforcian thing at the time, I just thought she was a little nutty.

Are you sure it isn't because your friend became a young millionaire because they had stock options through Salesforce during their growth period?

138

u/Lingonberry11 Mar 01 '23

Could be? I was totally out of the loop to anything tech related at that time, so I never connected the dots with her. Had no clue that little ecosystem existed. But looking back now, I can connect a lot of her bizarre behavior to potentially her just being in the tech bubble.

She did and said so many strange things that I just stopped liking her, and I had no clue why lol. I knew she was doing well financially, but she also kept up this weirdly hollow hippie charade pretending her job was saving the world and she was searching for "meaning" through her work blah blah blah. I had no clue what 'Salesforce' but her complex about it seemed so odd to me

140

u/TSL4me Mar 01 '23

People didnt realize until recently that their HR and internal communications departments are actually marketing departments for management. Everything they do is geared towards pretending the workplace is perfect so there's no need for work/life balance. People just starting out and in their 20s are reallly vulnerable to this, while someone that has been through a tech downturn with layoffs are hip to the illusion.

60

u/zerogee616 Mar 01 '23

It's going to happen a lot sooner with the younger generation, seeing as Gen Z grew up watching their parents and older siblings navigate 2008 and now seeing another potential one on the horizon. Not to mention hearing the stories of the dot-com crash from the greybeards.

You can fuck around and tank the economy once a generation and people will forget/re-learn lessons. You can't do it twice in 15 years.

36

u/xDulmitx Mar 01 '23

15 years is about a generation though.

We tend to go through downturns every 10 or so years (not usually 2008 bad). For some reason always striving for 10-20% market growth year over year is unsustainable (damn math getting in the way of constant growth).

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

111

u/SF_CITIZEN_POLICE Mar 01 '23

Ahhh yes saving the world and finding meaning by quantifying everything

73

u/jazir5 Mar 01 '23

It's people like you that stop bean counters from enjoying counting their beans that are the problem /s

43

u/Lychosand Mar 01 '23

I financialize every social interaction I have with others

25

u/a_taco_named_desire Mar 01 '23

Reminds me of this "Jonas Brothers Backstage Popcorn" I see in the grocery store now. Even if the story on the back of the bag is true, I find it sad that they had something that was a genuine little pleasure in life and couldn't help but think about how they could commercialize it. And I doubt the guy who made the popcorn gets anywhere near as much of a cut from it as they do.

7

u/T8ert0t Mar 01 '23

Googling that got weird.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

9

u/PullinUpBootstraps Mar 01 '23

Don't forget the dashboards since the acquired Tableau. So many dashboards.

→ More replies
→ More replies

20

u/Valvador Mar 01 '23

I knew she was doing well financially, but she also kept up this weirdly hollow hippie charade pretending her job was saving the world and she was searching for "meaning" through her work blah blah blah.

All things set aside, being valued for shit you spend most of your life doing, and getting paid well for it does feel nice. I was pretty "career focused" until the pandemic fucked with me.

It does feel good, makes life nice and simple.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

84

u/Crispycritter23 Feb 28 '23

This needs more

115

u/mrlizardwizard Feb 28 '23

Alright Alright Alright

→ More replies

25

u/PrimalSeptimus Mar 01 '23

You gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers in this racket.

131

u/Socalwarrior485 Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23

Alright, alright, alright.

It's with a heavy heart that I come to you today, folks. I've got some news that's been weighing on me, and I just gotta get it off my chest.

Y'see, I've been consulting with Salesforce for a little while now, helping 'em out with their strategy and all that jazz. And I gotta say, they've been mighty generous with me. Paid me a cool $10 million for my time and expertise.

Now, I know what you're thinking. That's a lotta dough. And yeah, it is. But here's the thing that's been bugging me: while they're shelling out all this cash to me, they're laying off thousands of their employees.

It just don't sit right with me, folks. I mean, I'm grateful for the opportunity and all, but when I hear about folks losing their jobs and struggling to make ends meet, it makes me wonder if there wasn't something more we coulda done.

I ain't here to point fingers or anything like that. I'm just sayin' that maybe we need to start thinkin' about the bigger picture. About how we can use our resources to help others, instead of just lining our own pockets.

I don't have all the answers, folks. But what I do know is that we're all in this together. We gotta look out for each other, and do what we can to make the world a better place.

So let's all take a moment to reflect on what really matters in life. And let's do what we can to help those who are less fortunate than us.

Thanks for listening, y'all. Keep on keepin' on.

Matthew McConaughey

*Edit : I can't take credit for this piece. ChatGPT wrote it for me.

16

u/notinmywheelhouse Mar 01 '23

Alright, alright, alright

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

5.7k

u/gullydowny Feb 28 '23

They hired him to do commercials. This is news? “Creative advisor” sounds less insulting than “dancing monkey”, that’s all

1.8k

u/5kUltraRunner Mar 01 '23

I work for a big company that has A-list celebrities doing our commercials and it's insane how much budget the PR guys get compared to the rest of the company honestly. But yeah this really isn't news at all.

1.2k

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23

It’s insane how much of a difference an extremely famous person endorsing your product makes. What does he know about Saleforce? He would never be a user. Why does Matt Damon care about Crypto?

I’ll trust Magnus Carlson when he tells me the best chess timer, not a movie star advising about tech.

579

u/BigBeagleEars Mar 01 '23

I’ve always trusted Dr. Mantis Toboggan to tell me what condoms to use

28

u/AFuddyDuddy Mar 01 '23

Always magnum. Always.

152

u/Santa_Hates_You Mar 01 '23

Monster condoms for your magnum dong?

22

u/Anjunabeast Mar 01 '23

S - Separate Entirely

→ More replies

37

u/Incredulous_Toad Mar 01 '23

I got my wad of cash and I'm ready to plow!

→ More replies

9

u/TheKingOfTheSwing200 Mar 01 '23

That's cause everyone knows Dr. Mantos fucks

→ More replies

30

u/salvatore_aldo Mar 01 '23

I've got the bug!

→ More replies

73

u/ISAMU13 Mar 01 '23

Why does Matt Damon care about Crypto?

Because fortune favors the bold.

34

u/Pzychotix Mar 01 '23

Matt Damon passed on Avatar, which would've paid him $250 million.

He gotta make that up somewhere.

→ More replies

144

u/AllModsAreL0sers Mar 01 '23

If chess ever became a cash cow, Magnus would cash in with the rest of them and use his niche celebrity status to push a line of cheaply made, shiny chess timers that he personally doesn't recommend or use. Something similar happened recently with Faker, regarded as the best League of Legends player, coming out with his own Razer mouse. He doesn't use it.

76

u/PM_ME_GAY_STUF Mar 01 '23

Top tier chess players make bizarre bank, though it is very top heavy. Magnus used to have a Rolex sponsorship iirc

39

u/Spork_the_dork Mar 01 '23

very top heavy. I think Hikaru said some time ago that really only like the top 10 in the world can actually make a living from it alone. The rest do something else on the side, like streaming or youtube.

→ More replies

11

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '23

Next you gonna tell me GFuel sponsors don't use their own GFuel

→ More replies

54

u/BB-r8 Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23

Chess has been evolving into a cash cow over the last 3 years. The largest chess website in the world chess.com went from 33 million users to 100 mil currently since 2020. Magnus has a chess company that he used to aquire more chess companies. Chess.com bought Magnus’s company last year with at least a 8 figure valuation. Dude is making way better moves than pushing cheap products.

Edit: 8 figure not 10 it’s been a long day

41

u/ent3ndu Mar 01 '23

10 figures, are you counting cents or something? It was under 90 mil.

25

u/Xannin Mar 01 '23

Maybe it was 35 figures. Hard to say. Nobody knows what figures are.

12

u/JefeBenzos Mar 01 '23

The figures speak for themselves.

→ More replies

28

u/usfunca Mar 01 '23

They did not buy his company at a $1b+ valuation.

16

u/C4242 Mar 01 '23

10 figures lol

Your only off by $910,000,000

Or 9 figures

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

83

u/QuietThunder2014 Mar 01 '23

Thing is what he does or doesn’t know about Salesforce isn’t even the biggest issue here. Do companies really believe that if they pay him 10 million a year he will generate 11 million a year in added revenue? And that’s their best return on investment? How many people really say “We’ll I was going to go with another company, but man if Mcconaughey says to buy Salesforce then I’m 100% onboard!” I honestly don’t know how much of advertising is science and how much is a bullshit she’ll game where they are just making shit up to pretend to be the next Dom Draiper.

38

u/RisingChaos Mar 01 '23

Has anyone ever been on the fence about who to bank with and chosen PNC because they spend $2mil/yr sponsoring the Pittsburgh Pirates' stadium? I think one time I read about how some large percentage of advertising is bullshit but we don't know how to tell the effective ads from the ineffective ones.

I've even wondered things like how much does Coke really need to put out a new polar bear ad every year? I feel like you've got people making art projects (guys trying to make something stick in the cultural zeitgeist), and you've got companies engaging in dick-measuring (plastering their names on sports stadiums) or virtue signaling (plastering their name on fundraisers), but very little useful marketing in advertising.

35

u/QuietThunder2014 Mar 01 '23

Oof. That one stung. My wife has told me several times she choose her bank largely due to them sponsoring her favorite sports all team. Lol

19

u/RisingChaos Mar 01 '23

I didn't for a long time, and I don't think I'm alone here, even realize Great American represented an insurance company and just thought Great American Ball Park was all about embodying wholesome American family values. Y'know?

→ More replies

8

u/li_314 Mar 01 '23

Has anyone ever been on the fence about who to bank with and chosen PNC because they spend $2mil/yr sponsoring the Pittsburgh Pirates' stadium?

Yes I guarantee this has happened

→ More replies
→ More replies

54

u/ThePissyRacoon Mar 01 '23

Can’t speak for salesforce, but there’s a reason A-List celebrities are paid ridiculously high sums of money for commercial endorsements. There’s great returns on high budget ads with huge names during expensive air time, it’s rarely a question on “if” it’ll work, it’s if they have the budget.

16

u/nokinship Mar 01 '23

It seems weird for Salesforce because their customers are other businesses not your average consumer.

9

u/monsterosaleviosa Mar 01 '23

Businesses are run by people. Here’s the thing - rich, successful business people aren’t actually any less susceptible to advertising than your average Joe. It seems like they’d be above that all, but many of them are highly impressionable. And they live in a world where image and perception means everything, so yeah. The right actor with the right appeal to them really will influence how businesses move.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

46

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '23

Yes and it allows execs to get face time with him and pretend they’re friends or whatever.

→ More replies

219

u/Bright-Ad-4737 Feb 28 '23

But this should be instructive. Being in sales is WAY more profitable than any other part of the organization outside of the C-Suite. Buffett says that if you have a offer from Wall St of being an analyst or a salesman, go into sales, because that's where the money is.

133

u/SilentThunder-00 Mar 01 '23

Flip side: you can be an OK or mediocre analyst and make a career. In sales you are out of a job if you go from rockstar to dry wells for a period.

110

u/pysouth Mar 01 '23

Also sales just sounds so miserable for some of us. I’m a SWE, I’d probably blow my brains out if I had to do sales. I respect our sales people a lot but I could never do it.

42

u/SixPackOfZaphod Mar 01 '23

This right here. I am an extreme introvert. Been a software engineer for nearly 20 years now, worked remotely for all that time. I do well, I make enough to pay the bills and have some savings. If I had to talk to people all day long I'd have a nervous breakdown.

24

u/columbo928s4 Mar 01 '23

yep. i am in sales and im good at it, i make solid money, but if i could go back and start over i'd pick a career that required more education and was more stable (doctor, lawyer, SWE). it is a stressful fucking job, and like another poster said it is very "what have you done for me lately." you simply cant ever relax and coast, ever.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

329

u/bombayblue Mar 01 '23

I work in a company with 250 salespeople.

80 will be gone within the year

150 make honestly average to above average tech worker salaries

15 will make executive-level pay

5 will make more than the CEO

If you can sell you can make a killing. My buddy sold the largest deal in the company last year and cleared $1m on his W-2. But a lot of people in sales don’t make an insane amount of money. It’s not this gravy train.

120

u/a93H3sn4tJgK Mar 01 '23

But to be fair, 150 people making average to above average tech worker salaries with little to no formal technical training or skills is a win for them.

You can take a high school dropout and make them a salesman and they can make six-figures, that’s a win.

You take someone with an MBA and connections (via their Ivy League MBA) and they can make more than the CEO without spending 20+ years working their way up the corporate ladder.

The downside is that sales is very much a “what have you done for me lately” job. It doesn’t matter if you sold $100 million in product last year, it’s about what your numbers are this quarter.

133

u/Durbanpoisonyo Mar 01 '23

Another downside of sales is that you’re in sales.

14

u/a93H3sn4tJgK Mar 01 '23

One of my first jobs about 30 years ago was in sales (stockbroker). I hated it with a passion.

Our quota was 100 dials a day where we actually spoke with someone.

The math was, 100 dials a day would result in 10 warm leads per day and 10 elea leads should result in 1 new account.

So, you did 100 cold calls, then followed back up with your warm leads, and hopefully open 1 new account per day.

You think I was working for some boiler room like in the movies?

Yes and no. It was a boiler room atmosphere but this was with top tier brokerages like Smith Barney (which became Smith Barney Shearson which is now part of Morgan Stanley) and Dean Witter (now a part of Morgan Stanley).

Hats off to all the folks that stuck with it. They’re making tons of money. But I just couldn’t do it. It sucked my soul right out of my body.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

53

u/g00dintentions Mar 01 '23

Is this from Wolf of Wall Street

151

u/bombayblue Mar 01 '23

A lot of people in sales think they are in wolf of Wall Street.

But they are in Glengarry Glen Ross and we all know it.

34

u/Outside-Flamingo-240 Mar 01 '23

Coffee is for closers

19

u/jimbobjames Mar 01 '23

Always

Be

Closing

→ More replies

26

u/cougrrr Mar 01 '23

Third prize is you're fired.

This movie is such an amazing, sad bummer.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

50

u/MostJudgment3212 Mar 01 '23

Only if you’re really good at it. It’s not a job for everyone.

10

u/zvug Mar 01 '23

Investment bankers are salesmen. At the highest level it’s all relationship-driven. The firms offer the same services, it’s just about who you know and who you trust when it comes to making a billion-dollar deal.

Analysts themselves aren’t doing that kind of work, but as they rise through the ranks to the VP/MD level, more and more of their time is spent on salesmanship.

→ More replies

39

u/DragonRaptor Feb 28 '23

I prefer the more relaxing approach of a analyst. Money isn't everything

→ More replies

63

u/Jarvisweneedbackup Feb 28 '23

It’s all fun and games until you make more than your bosses, they get pissy about it, and then find excuses to fuck you over

29

u/mtcwby Mar 01 '23

That's a stupid boss. Most bosses have incentives that are tied to what those guys bring in.

→ More replies

23

u/Minute-Evening Mar 01 '23

That’s when you leave and take your clients with you.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

3.2k

u/Artistic_Yam_183 Feb 28 '23 All-Seeing Upvote I'm Deceased

The only tool that works at Salesforce

88

u/vicemagnet Feb 28 '23

Their founder is a tool

→ More replies

57

u/Muuustachio Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23

Salesforce imo isn't a bad tool. It's how companies develop and use Salesforce that's trash. Our parent and child objects make no sense. And custom field names are stupid. Human errors make the Salesforce so awful

77

u/RemarkableEditor26 Mar 01 '23

You know, the more I dig around in SF and look at their documentation, the more I’ve been convinced that my loathing is really only about 15% Salesforce and 85% that our company has no goddamn idea how to maximize the potential…or frankly even make adjustments.

Several of us found a pretty major issue with a feature and our SF devs or whatever the proper name for them is were like, “we have no idea how to fix this or if it can be fixed but maybe we’ll look into it in the future.”

I found the fix using Google within about ten minutes, sent it to them, and lo and behold, the issue has been magically corrected. It was literally just a checkbox they needed to toggle on.

31

u/Muuustachio Mar 01 '23

Totally agree. I load data into Salesforce and query from SF. SOQL is actually a pretty versatile querying language. And there's SO much documentation. SF documentation is like known for being amazing. And the API is so easy to use.

Our SF 'tech team' is just as incompetent. So when I do run into issues it's mainly associated with them and not SF itself.

→ More replies

23

u/arakwar Mar 01 '23

This is my exact experience.

I’m a Drupal developer. Being in the open source side of things made me used to being able to do whatever I want to. But following stabdards usually make it a ton easier to share my work and get feedback/help. So I got the habit of following documentation closely.

I only poke around in Salesforce so I can make projects we depend on move forward. And every time, I always get bullshit like “oh but that can’t be done” or “it’s complex”. And once we start a screenshare and I start asking questions they fix things in less time than they lost trying to say in 10 different ways how it couldn’t be fixed.

And when you look at average wages on job posting, those people are paid 3-4 times my wage.

I stopped being professional about this. If someone is full of shit I call it out loudly in meetings. When people try to bullshit me, I make sure they are forced to face that shit. They can fix something on my site in 2 minutes ? Here’s the control of my screenshare, do it. You can’t fix something ? Show me why, show me the error message.

The ones that are not bullshitting us and who truly understand the platform gets their chance to show their expertise, and we push to have them in charge of more stuff. And the idiots who constantly get called out lose the trust of their own team and eventually leave.

→ More replies
→ More replies

13

u/xDulmitx Mar 01 '23

The problem is nobody wants to rip it all down and rebuild. You may start out with a good concept and have it fit perfectly to your current business... and then the business changes. Ohh, it is just a small change though so we can make it work without it being that bad. Then after 5 or 10 years of constant little changes everything sucks and nothing fucking works right!

→ More replies
→ More replies

43

u/Perfect-District Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23

Striped down Salesforce was a good crm but I started hating it when they introduced the lightning experience. Glad the new company I am at doesn't use that shit. Half the features they added had nothing to do with my line of sales.

44

u/ctothel Mar 01 '23

Salesforce might be functionally good, but I can't think of a single thing about it that isn't at least slightly annoying, slightly too slow, or both. Usually both.

22

u/Eskipony Mar 01 '23

This is probably the end state of a stagnating SaaS company. No desire to improve features, just coasting on a customer's tight Integration with the core product to retain their revenue.

12

u/ShittyExchangeAdmin Mar 01 '23

That’s been oracle’s model for years

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

425

u/stupsnon Feb 28 '23

If you have a problem with Salesforce hiring actors with crazy titles, I have even bigger news for you about the Fortune 1000

→ More replies

819

u/0verstim Feb 28 '23

they hired 20-25,000 people in one year during covid, this is a correction.

285

u/pmotiveforce Mar 01 '23

Yeah and $10m is like 25 to 30 employees, has nothing to do with 8k layoffs.

→ More replies
→ More replies

2.1k

u/Private-JO Feb 28 '23

I know $10 million sounds like a lot but 8,000 employees making at least $50,000 a year equals $400m in just salary.

208

u/Surgeboy99 Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23

Dont forget there can be a 20% overhead costs including benefits, workspace, licenses, insurances etc. The true cost is much higher.

edit: 25-40% according to the SBA

also, $50,000 salary seems way too low for a tech giant like salesforce.

→ More replies

759

u/DietInTheRiceFactory Feb 28 '23

And $10 million split 8,000 ways is $1,250. I hope the employees were making more than that.

262

u/clubba Mar 01 '23

If you figure the average fully-loaded (salary, benefits, taxes, etc.) expense for each employee laid off was $200k then the cost savings to Salesforce was $1.6 billion. The difference between that savings and what they pay MM is about $1.6 billion. A serious rounding error of about half of one percent.

106

u/mattalxdr Mar 01 '23

These kinds of headlines rely on people not thinking about it for more than 10 seconds...

35

u/Gustomaximus Mar 01 '23

Also those getting annoyed at MM... he accepted easy money, who wouldn't. Its not him being a bad guy.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

133

u/xXwork_accountXx Mar 01 '23

Average sf employee probably makes around $110k

→ More replies
→ More replies

54

u/night_owl_72 Mar 01 '23

yeah it’s a very stupid headline

9

u/ric2b Mar 01 '23

The implication is not that not paying him would save all those jobs, it's that if you're going to cut the fat, maybe start with this before you do layoffs.

→ More replies
→ More replies

116

u/VehaMeursault Mar 01 '23

And that doesn’t account for employer’s expenses. To pay you 10,- of salary the employer pays another 5,- or more for insurances, pension, etc.

→ More replies
→ More replies

139

u/Pale_Height_1251 Feb 28 '23

$10 million is pennies compared to employing 8,000 people.

→ More replies

219

u/OutAndABoot Feb 28 '23 edited Feb 28 '23

Yes, it turns out that advertising costs money, and you have to pay actors for acting. Shocking. $10 million is also a drop in the bucket of their operating costs. It's equivalent to $1,250 per person laid off. So it's equivalent to probably around 2% of the cost of employing all those people.

→ More replies

68

u/rawmerow Mar 01 '23

10 million dollars isn’t what it used to be.

That’s 100 people’s 100K salary.

(I mean Im just saying)

24

u/Naptownfellow Mar 01 '23

And then add benefits, bonus, etc and its like 60 people’s comp plan.

→ More replies

185

u/-Blixx- Feb 28 '23

It would be easy to argue that the advertising for Salesforce is 1000 times more effective than the application or training.

I see what you're getting at, but it is a painful product to implement and use.

→ More replies

72

u/kmsc84 Feb 28 '23

$10,000,000 is 250 employees at $40k.

Or would give each of those laid off $1,250.

29

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23

[deleted]

→ More replies
→ More replies

899

u/Zobmachine Feb 28 '23

Salesforce, I worked for a company that used their software. I best described it as "the latest and greatest from information technology from 20 years ago".

40

u/Biobooster_40k Mar 01 '23

My company switched to it in the last few years. Consolidated about 4 programs I personally use but our systems were crazy outdated before that so anything new is an improvement.

169

u/theannotator Feb 28 '23

But it’s cloud native! /s

52

u/newsreadhjw Feb 28 '23

Take that, Siebel!

33

u/TheGravespawn Mar 01 '23

As someone that had to use both Siebel and Salesforce all day, every day- this made my eye twitch. I never wanna think about Siebel again.

25

u/TheFotty Mar 01 '23

I still support a client who's parent company has a web platform running on Siebel and it only works in IE. Instead of fixing/modernizing, with IE being lowered into the grave, they rolled out citrix environments so people could run IE through a VM.

9

u/anormalgeek Mar 01 '23

Lol, we finally retired our 20y old Siebel deployment. Felt good.

An IE dependency was the final nail on the coffin.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

114

u/SWithnell Feb 28 '23

That may well be true. All things are relative. I did a deal for Salesforce CRM for a FTSE100 over 15 years ago. It was 20 years ahead of its competitors! They were competing with stone age competition. I asked one of the sales guys how they were finding the new SF CRM deployment. "You'll have to prize it out of my cold dead hands mate if you want it back".

→ More replies

9

u/SquizzOC Mar 01 '23

I work for a company that currently uses Salesforce and out of all the current CRM platforms it’s the top and has the easiest integrations into all other tools. Does it have its quirks? Sure, but compared to others, Salesforce is light years ahead.

80

u/SuitcaseInTow Mar 01 '23

This sounds like it may be true and people love to hate big companies but it’s completely false. There is a good reason Salesforce dominates the CRM space. Have you ever managed a CRM for a large company? Clearly not…

12

u/eandi Mar 01 '23

Yeah we migrated from hubspot to it recently. It's a beast and requires an in house ops team to just make it go brrrr but God when you build it right you get so... Efficient.

456

u/RagingWalrus1394 Feb 28 '23

As a dev that works in Salesforce primarily, this comment is wildly confusing. The vast majority of people have moved to lightning and that’s about as modern as it gets. It’s got low code solutions and high code, everything is as customizable as you want it to be. There really aren’t limitations if you know how to code. Using LWCs and the lightning blueprints also provides a modern UI. Saying it’s “the latest and greatest from 20 years ago” just says you had one bad experience and now use that to reference your ill formed opinion

248

u/Amazing-Steak Feb 28 '23

the problem with SF isn't the quality of the tool, it's the challenge of integrating it well.

it seems like many organizations fail which impacts its reputation.

53

u/Agent00funk Feb 28 '23

We tried SF at work for a year and then ditched it.

It was a "garbage in, garbage out" scenario. It didn't integrate well into how we did things, we even hired a consultant to customize it and train us to use it. But nobody ended up using it because our ad-hoc method of doing things just worked better for us than trying to squeeze everything into SF's format. It just slowed us down and made everybody miserable for having to do extra, unnecessary steps. So we just reverted back to shouting at each other across the hall.

75

u/uponhillsandvalleys Feb 28 '23

The kind of story that keeps an ERP/CRM implementation specialist up at night lol

63

u/Agent00funk Mar 01 '23

I imagine it's like introducing an uncivilized tribe to toilet paper, and coming back a year later just to see it's being used as roof shingles.

→ More replies

11

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23

[deleted]

→ More replies
→ More replies

119

u/RagingWalrus1394 Feb 28 '23

Okay that makes more sense. Without an architect directly from salesforce, integrating with a current system can be daunting at best. That being said, if someone with the right experience and knowledge on the platform is on the project then things can go pretty well. The problem is that SF architects cost outrageous amounts of money

92

u/knellbell Feb 28 '23

I find that big organisations left their Salesforce org completely unchecked for years and it just ends up being this bloated mess that no one understands.

Data architecture and architecture is so crucial but so often left behind because "MUH FEATURES!1!" .

Yes, low-code can be handy but there is a balance to be had.

30

u/CatCiaoSki Mar 01 '23

Bloated mess accurately describes me and my experience with Salesforce.

32

u/ktr83 Mar 01 '23

Any tool is only as good as the people or company using it. If your Salesforce is a bloated mess then that's a reflection of the business.

6

u/CatCiaoSki Mar 01 '23

I don't disagree.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

16

u/peepeedog Feb 28 '23

Doesn’t sales force have external consulting companies that do integrations for people?

→ More replies
→ More replies

8

u/anormalgeek Mar 01 '23

In my experience that is the challenge with EVERY single CRM solution. Integration is a challenge no matter what tool you're using.

→ More replies

9

u/-Osiris- Feb 28 '23

I have about 8-10 transformation and visualization options available at my work and anything having to do with SOQL is automatically my last choice by default

→ More replies

7

u/bubbalubdub Mar 01 '23

I’ve been working with SF for the past 7 years across many companies, and I truly think companies that use Salesforce need to invest heavily into the tool for it to be successful. Depending on the number of users, it needs a whole product team or many more. They need headcount, a large budget, and all kinds of push, encouragement, and sponsorship from the top down. Otherwise, the tool sucks and all employees hate it. I’ve been at a couple organizations now where Salesforce has made a huge difference positively in their day to day, and employees can’t live without it. Then the other 50% of companies just mess their instance(s) up, leaders don’t care, etc, and it ends up being a huge waste of money.

→ More replies

19

u/savageo6 Feb 28 '23

Having worked there for an acquisition for a bit. I wasn't at all surprised that Salesforces internal iteration of Salesforce sucked as much balls at every other company I used it at

→ More replies

8

u/moonman272 Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23

Lots to hate on salesforce for, but if they’re using him for ads, most companies keep a very close eye on ROAS (return on ad spend) and can see exactly how much a new campaign costs and how much money it brings in.

It’s not a matter if ads create sales, even at small companies you can very easily increase sales with advertising, it’s just usually a question of if it brings in more than the spend. Usually you want ROAS to be at least 1.2 to consider yourself net positive ($1 out brings in $1.20)

So it’s probably more likely that MM’s 10M a year brings in at least 11M in sales, rather than the company has zero marketers that know what they are doing and zero C suite folks above them looking to trim all expenses that don’t bring in money so they can claim cost savings and up their bonuses.

It just happens that what Becky in HR adds to the bottom line is much harder to quantify, so she’s much easier to let go. Ad spend is very easy to defend.

If they have a problem, it’s optics.

26

u/EveryEmerson Feb 28 '23

Who generated more value?

→ More replies

33

u/EatBrainzGetGainz Mar 01 '23

If they got rid of him they would only have to lay off about 7700 people

→ More replies

4

u/salsonapalehorse Mar 01 '23

Laying off labor is so hot right now

39

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '23 edited Feb 28 '23

[deleted]

14

u/munchi333 Mar 01 '23

Honestly the average is probably even more than $100k. Lots of tech jobs in HCOL areas.

→ More replies
→ More replies

7

u/ExtensionMode4819 Mar 01 '23

Alright alright alright